


He knows what it feels like

by DoomBum



Series: Bonding over Trauma [1]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Apocalypse, Everyone Gets A Hug, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Nightmares, Number Five | The Boy Needs A Hug, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery, Reveal Fic, War, no beta we die like ben
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:06:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23277562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoomBum/pseuds/DoomBum
Summary: Both Five and Klaus have been through hell and back, and at some extent they understand each other better than anyone else.Their siblings are worried and try to help, but it's hard when they don't know what happened.
Relationships: Dave/Klaus Hargreeves, Dolores/Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy)
Series: Bonding over Trauma [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1673920
Comments: 4
Kudos: 257





	He knows what it feels like

As he enters his sibling room, eyes following the bloody footprints on the floor to finally arrive on Klaus, standing in the middle of their room, and to the new tattoos they arbore on their arm, Five understood almost instantly that his sibling just went to hell and back. 

He stays in the doorframe, examining the dog tags, and the old looking army jacket, until he reaches his final conclusion as he sees Klaus grabbing at the tags, slightly shacking. 

He decides to not approach the subject for now, knowing it wouldn't help his sibling, and just continues his route back to his own room thinking of what to do next to try and save his family from the impending apocalypse. 

\---

So, Vanya almost caused the end of the world, and now they are all back at the beginning of the week as if nothing even happened, except that now Five is here with them. 

Klaus looks at their younger/older brother from their place on the couch, as if they were seeing him for the first time since he first came back. The kid, oblivious to their staring, just keeps scribing on some piece of paper, surely some crazy time travel equation that only he can understand. 

It's only the two of them in the living room - well, Ben is here too but when isn't he ? - and Klaus is bored already, sick of their powers not working the way they want. Ben keeps telling them they need more training but they are getting impatient with it, they just want to see Dave again. 

They see Five looking up at them, and at their hand grabbing their dog tags, but he doesn't say anything, and for that Klaus is grateful. 

''You should talk to him, he looks like he needs it." Ben mutters behind them, looking worriedly at their brother.

Klaus just shakes their head ''Trust me, that's not what he needs right now." 

They know Five has some demons of his own after the years he spend in the apocalypse, and then as an assassin. Now that they fought in the war, they seem to have gotten a new understanding of what their brother has been through, and it seems like Five has the same grasp about their experience. 

They know Ben is looking at them, confused by their words, but they just ignore it for the moment, not ready to talk either. 

\---

It's the middle of the night when they all wake up from the sound of crying in one of the bedroom. 

Diego is the first up, quickly followed by Luther, ready to fight any intruder that could have gotten in.  Allison, Klaus and Vanya gets there by the time Luther stands in front of the door, looking ready to burst in.  Klaus puts an hand on his arm, signaling him to stay put while they quietly open the door. Luther opens his mouth to scold his sibling, but close it again when he sees Five curled up on his bedroom floor, completely alone.

Vanya frowns slightly "Wh-what's going on with Five ? Is he alright ?"  She takes a step towards him but is stopped, once again by Klaus who sign them to stand down and to stay away. 

"What do you mean ?" Diego turns to look at the others, who all look as lost as he feels. 

"Just stay back, I know what I'm doing." Klaus whispers back to him as they carefully approach their brother. 

Klaus cuts their sibling out of their mind, only focusing on Five as they crouch down in front of him, being careful as to not touch the boy. They look at him for a few seconds, contempling their options, before sitting by his side, their shoulders touching slightly. Five does not react at the new presence, still sobbing in his knees. Klaus stays completely silent, at their siblings wonder, and just puts their 'Hello' hand face up on their leg while slowly taking Five's left hand to put it directly on their pulse point.

They all stay immobile for several minutes, and when Luther is starting to get reckless and goes to step forward, they can hear Five take a deep breath and take a better hold on Klaus's wrist. As he starts feeling a pulse, he looks down to see the tattoo on their palm, he relaxes and slumps down on his sibling's side looking more vulnerable and exhausted than they ever see him. 

Vanya is the first one to break the silence "Five, are you okay ?"

Five looks up at her, and back at his hand on Klaus's arm. "Yeah, I'm better now." He smiles a little, and takes another deep breath before getting off the floor. 

Ah he dusts himself off, he looks back at Klaus and gives them a quick nod as a thanks, his sibling just smiles at him and gives him a thumb up. Five disappears then in a flash of blue to go get himself some coffee, leaving the rest of his siblings dumbfounded in the doorway. 

\---

As Five enters the living room, he sees Diego and Allison watching some unknown movie on the newly bought TV. They both turn to look at him.

"Five !" Allison gestures to him to come sit with them. "Come watch Matrix with us, I'm sure you'll like it !"

"I don't have time for that," Five shakes his head, walking past them. "I need to make sure the commission doesn't come from us again." 

As he leaves the room, he can hear Klaus entering and starting to blabber nonsense to their siblings, who are clearly annoyed by the other's antiques. Five laughs quietly and gets on his way until he hears a loud crash on TV. 

He slowly turns around when he realises he can't hear Klaus talking anymore, a dreadful feeling in his stomach.  He can see an helicopter crashed on the ground on the television's screen, and Allison and Diego turned away from it, looking at their sibling on the floor.  His eyes easily catches the sight of Klaus, curled into themself behind the couch, shacking, their hands on their ears, muttering something quietly. From his spot, he can hear them repeating 'Please', 'Dave', and 'Medic' over and over again. 

When he sees Diego reaching out for them, he quickly jumps to him, stopping his arm "Don't, it won't help-" he looks at the TV again -"and turn that thing off."

As Allison goes to quickly turn it off, Five kneels in front of his sibling and starts talking softly to them. "This is Five, we are in 2019, at the Umbrella Academy, Diego and Allison were watching a movie on the new TV Vanya insisted we get."

He repeats it a few time, until Klaus stops shacking and looks up at him, confused "F-five ?"

Five nods "Yeah, it's Five," he carefully reaches for their arm, keeping their voice a murmur "are you back with me ?"

Klaus lifts their head, looking around them, and nods at him "Yeah, I-I'm good, thanks Five."

Five squeezes their arm "Don't mention it." Then he jumps to the kitchen to get some food and a cup of coffee. 

Klaus gets back up, a little disoriented by the sudden flashback. They look at their two siblings watching them with obvious concern. 

Allison takes a step forward, her hand reaching for them "Klaus, are you okay ?" 

Diego stays behind her, unsure at what to do "What just happened there, sib ?" 

Klaus just dismisses them both, smiling, as they start going toward the kitchen "I'm fine, don't worry about it." 

"Klaus, what the hell was that ?" Ben asks as he puts himself in front of them "You can't just say you are fine like you didn't just crumbled on the floor crying for no reason!"

Klaus shakes their head, passing right through him and easily ignoring their dead brother. Now is not the time for that.

\---

As she enters the kitchen, Vanya sees Five sitting at the table, scribbling equations on a notebook, a cup of coffee in his hand.  He doesn't acknowledge her presence and just keeps on muttering to himself.  She decides to leave him alone, knowing he will just dismiss her if she tries talking to him. Instead she starts preparing two marshmallow-peanut butter sandwiches for the both of them, hoping he will accept it. 

As she quietly makes it, she observes him, remembering a time where the two of them would sneak up at night to talk and bond over books and music. She feels a ping of nostalgia at the thought.  When she is done, she tries to offer it to Five. 

The boy lifts his head to look at her, and back at the sandwich before pushing it away "Thanks Van, but I'm not hungry right now."

She looks down at that, hurt by Five's coldness towards her. "Why do you keep pushing us away Five ? The apocalypse is over now, isn't it ?"

Five looks up at her again, he looks exhausted and Vanya just wants to hug him and make all his pain go away, but she knows he will just jump away if she tries. 

"What's happening here ? Why do you guys look so tensed ?" Vana looks at Allison in surprise, she hadn't heard her enter the room. 

Five just looks at her and back at his equations "Nothing important." 

"That's exactly what I'm talking about Five, that right here, you push us away, you need to talk to us !" Vanya exclaims, exasperated by her young-looking brother's behaviour.

Allison gets an understanding look "Vanya is right you know, we can't help you if you don't tell us what's wrong." She looks as worried as Vanya feels. 

"Nothing is wrong," Five is starting to get annoyed, being cornered like that by his sisters is getting on his nerves "and I don't need your help." 

The girls look at each other again, hearing the obvious lie in the statement. 

"We are here for you, you can talk to us if you ever need to," Allison keeps her voice soft, not wanting Five to run away, "we understand-"

At that, Five looks at her directly in the eyes, cutting her sharply "You don't understand anything Allison." He looks down again, holding his pen tightly "Neither of you does." 

After that he jumps to his room, taking the mug and the notebook with him. 

\---

They wake up to the distant sounds of guns and screams, Dave's name on the tip of their tongue. They grab their dog tags, taking deep breaths to collect themself before looking around them, making sure they really are back at the academy. 

They can see Ben looking at them worryingly from his place on their old bed. "What happened to you ?" Ben tries, despite knowing he won't get an answer. 

Klaus ignores him as their eyes settle on Five, sleeping on the floor, his back to the bed. "When did he got here ?"

"Around midnight," Ben looks at Five, a frown on his face "he seemed pretty erratic."

Klaus just nods and looks at the clock on the wall, 3:20, a new record for them. 

They start to get up from where they are sitting on the ground, when they hear the door open. They look toward it, seeing Luther taking the entire door frame, and Vanya looking stressed out behind him.

"Have you seen Five ?" Luther's strong voice resonates through the room.

"Yeah -" Klaus points at the kid on the floor, murmuring -"he is right here, so keep your voice down Luther" 

Their siblings turn to the figure slumped on the floor, looking at him with a confused expression. 

Klaus goes to leave their room, as they pass next to their giant of a brother, they quietly add "Don't wake him up, he needs all the sleep he can get." Giving Five a last look, they make their way to the kitchen for some early pancakes, leaving the two others at a loss for words. 

\---

"Okay that's it, I've had enough." Diego plants the knife he is holding in the table in front of him. 

Everyone, except Five since he is not there, look up at him from where they are scattered around the living room. "What the hell is going on with you and Five, Klaus ?" 

They all get a look of understanding, turning to look at their sibling, who just seem confused "I'm - not sure what you mean ?" They turn to Ben, who just shrugs. 

"Why are you and Five getting so close lately ?" Vanya tries, and fail, to not sound to hurt by the fact. 

Allison nods and adds "Yeah, you two never really saw eye to eye with each other before, what happened ?" The rest of them make various noises of agreements.

Klaus looks at them, unsure at what they can say "I-I don't know ?" They look at Ben shaking his head disappointingly. They look back to Vanya, badly hiding the hurt on her face. They sigh "I guess I have a better understanding at what he has been through during his time in the apocalypse than the rest of you."

Luther scoffs at that but Diego cuts him off before he can say anything "What is that supposed to mean ?"

"Just that I - I don't know, I just kind of get it, that's all." They look pretty uncomfortable, not wanting to divulge anything Five wouldn't want them to tell. "I guess you could say I had a pretty similar experience."

"They are right." They all look up as they hear Five enter the room, the boy watches them carefully. He shoots a look at Klaus, before settling down next to them "It's just that, to some extent, Klaus understands what I've been through."

"How ?" Vanya curls on herself, not sure if she wants an answer.

Five looks at her, and back at Klaus, he starts to open his mouth to explain himself but founds that no sounds are coming out. He looks at his sibling as he close his mouth again, signaling them to take over.

Klaus nods and turns back to their siblings "Five has- He spend 50 years in a wasteland, having to survive completely on his own. Then, he had to become a time-travelling assassin in order to come back here, and save us all from out imminent destruction." They can see Five grasp at his knees tightly, his head down. They take a deep breath, giving their brother time to calm down a little. "That kind of thing, it- it leaves scars, you know ? It was an horribly traumatic experience for him, one that will surely never really leave him completely."

Klaus stops talking after that, their siblings all seem pretty uncomfortable at the story. Vanya is looking at the ground, ashamed at herself for not paying enough attention at her brother's needs.

"But, what do you mean when you say you lived through something similar ?" Allison asks slowly, a little confused as she remembers the previous explanation "What happened to you ?"

At that, they put all their attention back at Klaus, who shrinks on themself, not wanting to talk about their own story. 

Five straightens up when he realises his sibling is not going to continue, he looks at them for confirmation and when they get a nod, they start talking "Somehow, Klaus got their hands on Hazel and Cha-cha's suitcase, which allows its user to time travel, not knowing that fact they opened it and got sent to the time and place already programmed, which turned out to be in the middle of the Vietnam War where they served for almost a year and where they lost someone really close to them." He stops to look at Klaus, who grabbed their dog tags as he spoke. They signal him to continue. 

He nods and looks at the rest of them, they all have an horrified expression painted on their faces, but he ignores it, they are the one who asked after all. "All of this, of course, ended up with them getting some serious PTSD, and in the same way I will never truly leave the apocalypse, they will never really leave the war." 

As he finishes his explanation, he looks at Klaus just in time to see them flinch away from what he can only guess is Ben, looking guilty. "I just - I didn't want to think about it." After a few second, they nod and smile softly at the ghost "It's okay, I know you didn't meant it," they snort, waving their hand "yeah, yeah, I love you too Benny-boy."

Five watches them with a raised eyebrow, before putting his attention to the rest of their sibling, who look pretty awkward at the one way interaction, or at the story he just told, he can't know for sure. 

Vanya looks guilty "I'm sorry, I-I didn't know." She looks ready to cry, but Klaus just shake their head "It's not your fault Vanya, you didn't know."

"I shouldn't have acted so entitled of Five's attention, it was selfish." 

Five jumps to her when she starts sobbing, he awkwardly hugs her "And I shouldn't have rejected you like that, I'm sorry too."

"We know we should have told you but," Klaus starts, still holding the tags "I guess, we aren't ready just yet." Five nods at their words. 

Diego gets up, and holds his arms out "Come here, sib." He smiles softly as Klaus gets up, and hugs them back.

Allison gets up too, joining the large hug and reuniting her four siblings. Luther just watches awkwardly from his place on the couch, until Diego sees him and waves at him to join, at what he gets up and envelop them all making everyone laugh. 

Ben watches from afar, smiling widely at the sight. He sees Klaus looking at him, and gives them a thumb up, making them smile wider.

Five and Klaus look at each other, they both know there is still a lot of work ahead of them, but they know they won't be alone to face it. 


End file.
